limbering up

It's been a while and I'm a bit nervous.  I'm out of practice, I could do myself an injury.  I need to have a stretch and warm up.  What if I cant remember how to do it?  What if its rubbish?  who says it wasn't rubbish before? - oh the devil on my shoulder is having a field day!

I don't know why I stopped writing once we moved, maybe it was because I was using all my energy keeping things together, fending off my homesickness, looking for a job, spending all my spare time watching box sets.  Maybe I lost confidence.  Maybe I cant allow myself to do things I enjoy (the latter theory has surfaced during a counselling session for an unrelated matter.

I love writing.  Its something that I do.  I love London, I'm a Londoner,  who no longer live in London, am I still a Londoner?  Who am I now?  What I want to do when I grow up?  Too many questions and not enough answers. 

If I write and I try and I fail then I've failed haven't I?  If I don't write, but spend my spare time watching Elementary then I'm not a failed writer, am I?