Wednesday, 3 October 2012

Mix Tape from the past

We are in the midst of a massive clear out at our house.  With a huge life change we have decided to de-clutter & streamline operations at DOMADQ headquarters (with varying degrees of success).  Having 'done' a boot sale & with Mr D frantically eBaying all the things that 'will be worth money one day', well with currently a part time income to bolster us that day has come!

Mid clear up I found this in our bin & fished it out

"What's this?" I ask Mr D
"Oh it's just a mix tape someone made for me" he replied
"Was that someone a girl?" I asked nonchalantly
"Yes.  It was Nicky/Vicky/Becky/Wendy ??" (ex girlfriends always seem to end with y) replied Mr D who is not great as remembering names.

A little window into the past, I couldn't help but look at it a bit closer.  There's a note inside from the girl in question (unsigned so I still don't know if it's Nicky or Vicky or Becky or Wendy who compiled it) in which she explains her track listings

Side 1
1. Everytime you go away
2. If you were here tonight
3. Stay with me till dawn (I wish you could all the time)
4. The Flame (Our first slow dance)
5. Why can't I wake up with you (yes what can't I?)
6. I see your smile (listen to the words)
7. For you
8. Right here waiting (the start of the song talks about oceans apart - sometimes it feels you are that far away)
9. Be with you
10. Love of mine (listen to the words)
11. Stay (Can I? please!)

Side 2
1. Hold on to the nights (cos we don't get many)
2. Crazy for you
3. Hold me now (Should be hold me all the time)
4. Have you ever need someone so bad? (the answer to that question is yes - you)
5. Hard habbit to break
6. All through the night
7. The way you make me feel (all over)
8. Miss you like crazy (especially when your away)
9. Room in your heart (Hopefully someday)
10. The last kiss (Sunday nights always the last)

I found it quite endearing & a little sad.  A glimpse of a girl who obviously felt more for a boy (my boy) than he did for her.

Chatting to him it's obvious that he was completely oblivious to exactly how she felt at the time (aren't men hilarious, you could be hitting them over the head with a sign saying I LOVE YOU and they wouldn't necessarily get it), and that he was fairly ambivilent to their long distance relationship (he was away at college returning home only at weekends).

I've never been jealous about past girl friends because that is where they live, in the past. They are simply stops on Mr D's map before he found his way to me. (Although having said that I have never met an ex of his, maybe I'd feel different if I was confronted with ghosts of girlfriends past).

It's also strange to think that several years later he & I embarked on a long distance relationship (he being in Scotland & me in London). We didn't see each other any where as frequently as every weekend but held it together for a year & a half before ending up in the same city together. And 16 years on from when we met we're still together. 

Part of me thinks I could have been that girl.


  1. Poor thing, you couldn't get much clearer than that. Blokes can be remarkably dense. Hopefully she went on to be happy with someone else. Gawd, I hope no tapes/letters etc I ever made and sent are going to be dredged up by future wives!

    1. I know me too. I feel a wee bit guilty about using her stuff for a blog but just though it beautifully summed up how unaware boys can be. I hope she is living happily ever after with someone who appreciates her.

  2. aww dear..I love how painfully obvious the tracks are and I bet he just glanced over it after her hours of painstaking work compiling it! Young love is so cruel :( and my goodness blokes are so super gormless when it come to bloke was the same!

    1. I know it's all the 'listen to the words', she was desperate for him to know :(
      That's definately something I don't miss from being younger. Love, it could be really shit sometimes couldn't it?