Trying to practice what I preach

3 years ago my mum called me when I was at a playgroup with my youngest girl to tell me that on her routine mammogram they had found some abnormalities.  It seemed to come completely out of the blue.  Yes there was a history of breast cancer in the family and yes she has yearly screening but this blindsided me.  

I had a moment like Roy Schneider on the beach in Jaws where my world fell away from me.  A lovely lovely lady from the church running the playgroup who I didn't know came up to me and put her arm around me and talked.  Believe it or not I find it incredibly hard to talk about my feelings but this lady really helped me at a desperate time.  

She had to have a biopsy & we found out for definite that it was cancer on Christmas Eve that year (which seemed the cruelest thing of all) and mum had her op in early January.  Followed by radium treatment and medication.  So far so good.  All found and dealt with in a straightforward way.  

But this afternoon Mum called again.  She had her 6th monthly mammogram today and they've found a lump.  She has to go and have a scan tomorrow to try & work out what it is.  I've been knocked for six again.  I never do see these things coming do I? 

I'm trying so hard not to worry.  To cross that bridge when I get to it.  To not stress until I know there is something to stress about but I am finding it so hard tonight.  

Please let this be OK.  Please let her be all right.