tape girl

I was having a clear up (again) in my bedroom & found a bag of cassettes (I was going to write stumbled across but that made it sound like I'd fallen over them - "I'm not surprised" I can hear my mum saying "the state of your bedroom")

Now for any young drama queens out there cassettes are an audio format (a bit like a CD but older) & if you wanted to record anything to you to press record & play at the same time on your tape recorder.  You could record tape to tape at high speed on fancy stereos (think old school ipod) & the music sounded like Pinky & Perky (...oh never mind).

This treasure trove of nostalgia included:


The original Now That's What I Call Music - which reminded that side B of cassette 2 was always the dodgy side

A tape of some friends from university's band - which I still love & I wish I had the kit & know how to digitize it as I would share it as they are great.

A cassette of Mick Brown dedicating 'Rush Hour' to me & my sister number 10 in my last claim to fame list

A load of compilation tapes that I made years ago & although it's a dead format I cannot bear to throw them away.

It reminded me that I used to cut out photos from magazines for covers for my tapes

but I also used to name my compilations

this one is called Jason Donovan's Chest because that's what's on the cover (going for the Ronseal approach)

Lurking at the bottom of the pile were two tapes which I knew even before looking at the track list were heart break tapes.  

The first one 'Emotions' is your standard fare of weepy mix tape; some early Beatles tracks, Everything But the Girl (before they  went all dance on us), Crowded House & Simply Red.  I barely remember what heartbreak it was over (but think I can guess because of the inclusion of the Simply Red track).  But if it was that guy I'm wondering, why was I tormenting myself over him?  He was a dick.  I didn't love him, I liked him, he made me laugh (sometimes), but he was definitely not worthy of my tears.

The other one is just labelled Summer 95 and this one is properly sad.  I know by the date (as well as the contents) what this one is all about). 
I can just picture that poor sad little drama queen listening to her tape weeping into her pillow, nursing a broken heart.  A good cry can be so cathartic to get it (them) out of your system, but there is a fine line & I'm sure on occasion I crossed over to wallowing in it. 

Being that I probably unkindly dissected a mix tape an old girlfriend made for Mr D I thought I would share the track list:


Side A
Return to Innocence - Enigma (I know but that would fall into one of the songs HE liked)
Cross My Heart - Everything But The Girl
Love is Here Where I Live - EBTG
Apron Strings - EBTG (obviously working my way through the Everything But The Girl back catalogue)
Everybody Hurts - REM (guaranteed weepy.  I want this song at my funeral.  I want EVERYONE to cry)
No Need to Argue - The Cranberries
Jealous Guy - John Lennon
You've Got Me Thinking - The Beloved (classic of the time)
Favourite T - The Lemonheads
Bell Bottomed Tear - The Beautiful South
Linger - The Cranberries
Caroline - Misty Oldland (yeah, me neither)


Side B
I Need Your Loving - Baby D (original is better)
Badhead - Blur
Take a Bow - Madonna
No More I Love Yous - Annie Lennox
Back For Good - Take That
Sour Times - Portishead (got to love a bit of Portishead)
Driving With The Brakes On - Del Ametri
Across The Universe - The Beatles (another on the list for my funeral - love love this song)
Heaven Help Me - EBTG (again!)
The World Is Stone - Cyndi Lauper
They Dance Alone - Sting

I did say I have eclectic taste in music (Mr D insists that means it's a mix of good & shit). An unusual mix I'll admit but the odd gem in there.


Just in case you need a good cry. 

 Hopefully it falls under the 'good' music in my collection x

Mix Tape from the past

We are in the midst of a massive clear out at our house.  With a huge life change we have decided to de-clutter & streamline operations at DOMADQ headquarters (with varying degrees of success).  Having 'done' a boot sale & with Mr D frantically eBaying all the things that 'will be worth money one day', well with currently a part time income to bolster us that day has come!

Mid clear up I found this in our bin & fished it out

"What's this?" I ask Mr D
"Oh it's just a mix tape someone made for me" he replied
"Was that someone a girl?" I asked nonchalantly
"Yes.  It was Nicky/Vicky/Becky/Wendy ??" (ex girlfriends always seem to end with y) replied Mr D who is not great as remembering names.

A little window into the past, I couldn't help but look at it a bit closer.  There's a note inside from the girl in question (unsigned so I still don't know if it's Nicky or Vicky or Becky or Wendy who compiled it) in which she explains her track listings


Side 1
1. Everytime you go away
2. If you were here tonight
3. Stay with me till dawn (I wish you could all the time)
4. The Flame (Our first slow dance)
5. Why can't I wake up with you (yes what can't I?)
6. I see your smile (listen to the words)
7. For you
8. Right here waiting (the start of the song talks about oceans apart - sometimes it feels you are that far away)
9. Be with you
10. Love of mine (listen to the words)
11. Stay (Can I? please!)

Side 2
1. Hold on to the nights (cos we don't get many)
2. Crazy for you
3. Hold me now (Should be hold me all the time)
4. Have you ever need someone so bad? (the answer to that question is yes - you)
5. Hard habbit to break
6. All through the night
7. The way you make me feel (all over)
8. Miss you like crazy (especially when your away)
9. Room in your heart (Hopefully someday)
10. The last kiss (Sunday nights always the last)

I found it quite endearing & a little sad.  A glimpse of a girl who obviously felt more for a boy (my boy) than he did for her.

Chatting to him it's obvious that he was completely oblivious to exactly how she felt at the time (aren't men hilarious, you could be hitting them over the head with a sign saying I LOVE YOU and they wouldn't necessarily get it), and that he was fairly ambivilent to their long distance relationship (he was away at college returning home only at weekends).

I've never been jealous about past girl friends because that is where they live, in the past. They are simply stops on Mr D's map before he found his way to me. (Although having said that I have never met an ex of his, maybe I'd feel different if I was confronted with ghosts of girlfriends past).

It's also strange to think that several years later he & I embarked on a long distance relationship (he being in Scotland & me in London). We didn't see each other any where as frequently as every weekend but held it together for a year & a half before ending up in the same city together. And 16 years on from when we met we're still together. 

Part of me thinks I could have been that girl.

the art of a heartbreak mix tape

I heard Christina Perri's 'Jar of Hearts' the other night on my way home from Tescos and was taken by the line 'you're going to catch a cold from the ice inside your soul' which sprang out from the dirge...

So I google it & I watched the video

so marvellously melodramtic with a heart broken Christina watching a dementor of an ex boyf sucking the hearts out of various generic girls with a kiss, which is pretty awful in itself and then they start doing the expressive dance section of the promo - I nearly wet myself.


It reminded me of teenage angst and lost loves.  Many a times I've compiled a mix tape to convey my sorrow & then played it over and over to torture myself further.  Mr DOAMADQ had no idea what I was talking about when I said 'you know, when you listen to music to make youself cry...' No?  Just me then...

Top of my last tear stained tape was the Cranberries take your pick from No Need to Argue or Linger, Sinaead O'Connor's Nothing Compares , what ever was 'our' song would definately have featured too...

If I had to compile a weapy 'playlist' (how modern) today what would I put on it? Hmmn, am not sure if Christina Perri would make it.  However, Adele's  'Someone Like You' would would have to be there.  Such a beautifuly haunting song it makes me cry with empathy almost every time I listen to it. 

Now pass me some tissues & where are my jazz shoes? I feel some expressive dance moves coming on...