Being a married lone parent

So today was national Go Home on Time Day whereby workers were encouraged to work their contracted hours only, organised as part of National Work-Life Week. 

A UK survey of 1,500 employees has found six out of ten people regularly work late, with around half blaming the culture of their firm.
One in ten also admitted that their work/life balance has become so bad that they never find the time to sit down with their families during the week.

This is all very familiar to me.  Before Mr DOMADQ was pushed jumped from his job back in June that was what our family life was like.  He would leave the house at 6.30am and not return until very late, often after 10pm thus meaning he wouldn't see our children at all in the week.  He was also expected at 'crunch' times to work at least 1 day over the weekend and as projects neared completion both days of the weekend. 

And what reward would he get for this?  No time off in lieu (maybe a few days off in a slump between projects but nothing like the hours he had given to his multi billion dollared employer), no over time pay at all (don't be so silly). And certainly no appreciation. There was no empathy regarding what life their employees were missing out on beyond the office walls.  Perception was key and so if you happened to be observed 'sneeking out' on time then it certainly didn't look good for you even if you'd done your work within the allotted hours.


Naturally the government 48 hour working week directive should protect workers in this regard but it's just a one line fix in a contract and employers simply get you to opt out of it.

Obviously not seeing my husband was detrimental to our home life.  Me & Mr D would be ships that passed in the night as I would vaguely wave in his direction as he left in the morning & would be slumped in a heap when he returned home.  For the children they didn't see their Daddy and effectively I became a single parent for months on end.  I would have to deal with everything single handed and diffused the 'I miss Daddy!' tears.  My social life shrivelled away.  Weekends were the worst as everyone is off doing things as a family and it always highlighted how lonely I felt. 

I am not alone in this.  I have many friends who have spouses who work very long nights or have to pull all nighters in the office.  You can't make plans to do anything for you as you cannot guarantee that they'll be back at a reasonable hour.  Another friend's husband is away on business trips for increasing periods of time. 

Whilst Mr D is looking for work we are seriously considering positions in other parts of the country whereby he would have to live away in the week and visit home on the weekends, as it seems unlikely that we would uproot the family for a short term contract.

Times are hard, the recession has people on edge.  Employers seem to expect more than their pound of flesh and care very little about what leftovers are sent back home.

With Mr D currently out of work it's fairly daunting at the moment but I guess my silver lining is that we are currently getting to spend a lot of time together and that is something we as a family are extremely grateful about.